Why do women normalize labour and pain for themselves: Will it make them a good woman?

Ishika Aggarwal December 24, 2020

449 3 minutes read

Why do Women Find Labour and Pain as Their Ornament?

Do you remember your mother saying “kuch cheeze auraat ko sehni padti hai” (there are a few things the women have to bear with), “kuch kaam sif aaurto k hote hai” (some work are meant for women), agar “humne nhi saha toh kaam kaise chalenge”, (if we don’t happen to bear it, then how will it work) and not to mention that, “ghar ka kaam aaurtein nhi karengi toh kaun kargega” (if a woman will not do the house hold then who will) and “ek aachi auraat vahi hoti hai jo apne parivar k liye sab kch seeh le” (a good woman is the one who could bear anything for their family) and the like.

Well, these are some of the many quotes that women make, so as to normalize labour and pain for themselves. And well, they are precisely not to be blamed at but it is definitely the patriarchy that has made them think so. In the light of proving themselves as good homemakers, women often tend to suppress their need for being happy by covering it with their so-called responsibility of keeping their family happy. This could mean anything and everything that they do, normalizing the emotional, physical, and financial labour that comes to them.

In an article in Harpers Bazaar, the writer expresses how emotional labour is an unpaid job men still don’t understand, she writes, “Walking that fine line to keep the peace and not upset your partner is something women are taught to accept as their duty from an early age.” In every fight, women are expected to stay silent, and this act is seen as their intellect of being someone as a peacemaker of the home, and obviously, the emotional labour that they undergo is not a thing that should be bothered. But the only difference here, between the story of the writer and the story of all the women out there, is that they normalize the emotional labour they get.

Veteran actor Sharmila Tagore explains ‘obsession’ of women to be a good woman. Watch it here

Women do Physical labour because they think they deserve it?

Coming to the physical labour, women do the household, which absolutely is an unpaid, tiring job to do, but they prefer to do it not just because they are expected to do it, but because they think they deserve to do it. And when we are talking about physical labour, we can’t really forget to talk about the physical pain they get with every period cycle.

Normalizing Period Pain is a classic sign of normalizing pain for women

Every month, women undergo the process of menstruation and with that, there runs a saga of emotional and physical labour. Some women are often asked to not sleep in their bed, not go to temples and the kitchen, and live with the burden of being impure for the 5-7 days when they menstruate. Followed by this, many even normalize having an excessive period – pain which is just not normal. And, normalizing period pain is a classic sign of normalizing pain for women and subordinating their pain.

And, did we not mention mother’s habit of normalizing and sacrificing the portion of food that she was meant to eat when some of the other members of the family ask for extra food. Well, agree or disagree, this is a sign of a women’s act of sacrificing and normalizing emotional labour for herself in the name of her duties, her responsibilities, or out of love. Well, this was out taken on.

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