Adolescent: Parents Next Level Test
Youth comes but once in a lifetime.
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
As the lyrics of the famous track of Salman Khan’s movie ‘No Entry’ goes
“Chaar din ki kahani chaar din zindagani
jaa ke phir na aye khoobsurat jawani”,
Adolescence comes once in a lifetime.
Today’s teen devote more time to shopping, hanging around with friends, night outs and late night parties rather than study or concentrate on their career growth. They are short-tempered if questioned by their parents or if cross-checked on anything.
In a densely populated country like India, where the current population stands for 1,270,272,105 (1.27 billion), around 50% of them are teens. One World News has taken a step forward to help the parents with new ways to tackle their kids who carry ‘I-Know-That’ attitude along with certain guidelines suggested by psychologists.
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A home is supposed to be a place where every family member including from an eight year old to an eighty year old person can pour their emotions out comfortably. However, in the present situation, the teens do not get an opportunity to express their self either because their parents are orthodox or ‘busy in their own work’.
“My parents are very concerned and over-protective about me which is very irritating at times. They create issues if I ride a bike at night or come home late night. I cannot talk to them about most of the things because they are quite orthodox,” says Avinash Chauhan, 18, B.Com student of Delhi University.
Nisha Bajaj, a ninth standard student says, “According to me, ideal parents should be open-minded, supportive and friendly towards their child, just like my parents are. My parents trust me even if I hang out with my guy friends. So, this is what makes me comfortable and open to sharing anything with my parents”.
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Divya Jha, an eleventh standard student of a Government School in New Delhi says, “I have friends, who are closer to my parents rather than their own. The reason may be a communication gap between their parents or lack of time devoted to them.” Sharing her views further, she explained, “Parents should take out quality time for their children, may be plan family picnics or parties or any other activity which involves a family interaction time, so that they can develop a friendly bond with their child.”
Rameshwari Sharma, 42, a housewife said, “I have a son who is nineteen years old and at times he is very stubborn. It becomes very difficult for me to tackle him; he loves to hang around with his friends till late at night.” She further added, “I told my husband to discuss it with him but in vain.”
Satyender Singh, 47, Senior Head Draughtsman in PWD shared his suggestion, “I don’t yell at my son as he is eighteen years, a young man now. If I want to make him understand about something, I sit with him and talk about it. I have built a very cordial relationship with him since his childhood.”
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Mrs. Bajaj, another housewife from Delhi said, “Me and my daughter share every bit of our daily routine and talk about our funny experiences during the day. This not only makes our mother-daughter relation stronger but even keeps us close as friends.”
Teachers are known as ‘Second Parents’ who are not only aware of our merits and demerits but also read our minds well. Here are a few tips suggested by some teachers for tackling teens. Anita Lakra, a history teacher of GRM Senior Secondary Public School suggested, “I tackle students of standard ninth, eleventh and twelfth. Parents should make it a daily habit to either have lunch or dinner together, so that the child talks about his/her issues and experiences.”
R.K Verma, retired Government teacher suggested, “Parents must engage their teenage kids in some household chores if they create disturbance. If their child seems to be sad then parents must sit with them and try to talk about the issue.”
Dr. D.S Narban, 62, Psychologist who owns a clinic in Noida answered a few questions that will surely aid the parents to build a smooth and healthy relationship with their teens:
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Since when are you in this profession?
I am working since 1998. It has been sixteen years now.
According to you why are the teenagers short-tempered?
It is mainly because they do not express themselves which results in creating a volcano of anger in them. They only look at things from their perspective not considering the other aspect of the coin.
How can the generation and communication gap be bridged between parents and teens?
For this the parents ought to
• Firstly, forget about the age gap.
• Secondly, they should remember that they also have been through the same phase in their lives and avoid thinking “Ye Aaj Kal Ke Bachchey!” (It is this generation today!)
• Thirdly, try to understand the perspective that their child has.
• Keep in touch with them through mobiles, social networking sites etc. but do not call them every hour as it will irritate them.
• Do not talk to the child when he or she is hyper.
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Do not talk to the child when he or she is hyper.
• Do not talk to the child when he or she is hyper.
• Secondly, ‘Tell him what he/she ‘can’ do not what he ‘should’ do’
• Thirdly, create a healthy environment in the house with the family so that he or she does not feel afraid to talk about anything.
• Parents should not forget the rhyme in mind ‘Be for Them, Be with them’.
The best way to understand a child is to remind ourselves of our childhood and provide them that space and understanding that we desired for. A cordial relation will always help in keeping an open space for the teens with their parents, which will also build a strong bond amongst them.
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