The concern that young adults have, which really scares them, which fascinates them, which moves them is not really a question of sex but rather a question of intimacy.
There have been so many articles written about the fact that millennials or the millennial generation, also known as Generation Y are having more sex than previous generations did in young adulthood. The number of theories attempt to explain the reasons like dating apps/websites smartphones and social media addiction, and the side effects of anti-depressants, accessibility of porn, increased stress levels, and more.
Also, there are some cases that explain that many are not able to get laid but that doesn’t mean sex isn’t on the minds of those in their 20s and 30s. Today, there are still many who believe that sex is good when you are married. Don’t have sex until you are married.
Popular dating apps like Tinder and Bumble have made “hooking up” (arranging sex) easier than ever but still there are some reports that claim young people are having far less fun under the covers than their previous generation which I don’t think is true.
In order to know more about the real issue, I spoke to a few from my contacts (acquaintances) and got these responses when I asked them about what intimacy actually means to you.
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A realistic thought of happily-ever-after
Most of the millennials feel that being intimate with someone for a short time period can turn into a serious matter. What if the girl is not ok with it, and what if the guy isn’t? Some even think that married life won’t be a piece of cake as being in a relationship with someone for the rest of your life is kinda outdated, so why always fool around with as many people as you can.
Such thoughts keep millennials from having a real relationship and makes them go on a blind date or casual hook-ups.
In the recent report of an American study, it was revealed that young people born in the 1980s and ‘1990s were more than twice as likely to report having no sexual encounters with their partners or anyone as adults compared to people born in the 1960s and ’70s.
However, to clear out this disarray, I got a chance to ask a few relationship experts to reveal some common intimate-related complaints, concerns, fears, and insecurities their millennial clients bring up most in their sessions.
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1. Questions about techniques: Many guys think if they are “doing it right”, or about giving her good orgasm. How to last long enough or how the physique should look like such as if there is a need for six-pack abs to go to bed with a woman or what if the guy is rejected for being too heavy or too skinny.
2. Questions about sexual orientation: With the recent advances in gay rights, there were many cases where young people fear revealing their sexual identity only because their typical conservative the family would disown or even endanger them. And also, many gay or lesbian, has admitted having a father or mother so homophobic that they feared getting banished from the city.
3. Questions on being pressured: There were also many young women who came to see experts as they wanted to know how to stop their boyfriends/husbands from pressuring them into doing stuff they don’t want to do during sex like to persuade women to try different kinds of sex or partner configurations such as a threesome.
4. Questions on relationship: Many girls and probably fewer guys experience abusive or pre-abusive relationships which involve jealousy, controlling or unhinged boyfriends/girlfriends, and serious anger-management issues.
How influence changes everything
We all know that love is the most fundamental experience in human life and the capacity for love has intrigued cultures throughout history. For many, love is known to be a desire to enter and maintain, or create a close, connection, in an ongoing relationship with another individual.
“Millennials get affected by the history of their own bad relationships or the bad experiences which their parents or loved ones have to go through,” says the relationship expert Sindhu Vasanth.
When someone is kind to you, loyal to you, and above all, shows affection or expresses love to you, it is inevitable that an intimate bond is developed. Such intimacy that is found in friendships or in any relationships shows the best and real parts of yourselves and bring those parts out of you into the light. It also builds a capacity for seeing and being seen, knowing, and being known.
So, it is safe to say that this generation is so much different from the previous one and there are more cases of sex, exploitation, addiction than cuddling, intimacy, and love.
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