Are you and your partner speaking different love languages?
Have you ever wondered why your relationship just doesn’t seem to work out? Maybe it’s because you and your partner speak different love languages.
Perhaps, you’re one of those couples who has had relationships that seemed pretty amazing at first but, as time goes by, the spark and the feelings fade away, little by little.
You may express affection to your partner regularly, but do you truly make sure that you’re communicating it the right way? The way your partner wants to receive it is because even love can sometimes get lost when two partners who are in a relationship speak different love languages.
And that’s where the five love languages matter especially when it comes to love relationships.
THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
These are the five different ways of expressing and receiving love through words, touch and some acts. The fact is not everyone communicates love in the same way, and likewise, there are people who prefer different ways to receive love.
The concept of love languages was created by Gary Chapman, PhD, in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, where he describes these five unique styles of communicating love.
According to Chapman and the Love Languages system, these are the five different ways that people experience love:
Acts of Service (doing something that helps)
Words of Affirmation (saying something comforting)
Quality Time (spending meaningful time)
Physical Touch (the touch of care and intimacy)
Receiving Gifts (giving or receiving thoughtful gifts)
Let’s go ahead and see what each love language means that has such a powerful impact on your relationship.
ACTS OF SERVICES
It is a non-verbal form of communication that can be time-consuming and exhausting, and since this is what your partner needs, it is always worth the effort. This language that demonstrates love is also known as selfless little acts. As humans, we always crave warmth from that one person we supposedly love.
Do something for your partner like cooking their favourite food, bringing you soup when you’re sick, making your coffee for you in the morning, or picking up your dry cleaning for you when you’ve had a busy day, taking care of your partner’s loved one if they are in need and most importantly, helping your partner in their daily chores.
It always feels good when your partner goes out of their way to make your life easier and since it is well known that actions speak louder than words.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Communicating love through words and expressions as verbal communication that is as supportive, encouraging, appreciative, and affirmative which can also be shown in written messages such as love notes, love letters, and such. Frequently say “I love you’s,”, “you look good” and “I can’t imagine my life without you” to your partner.
Often use digital communication like texting and social media engagement to give compliments but remember, such words always require thought time, and effort.
Always Remember
Tell, don’t show: Sometimes it’s necessary to respond with words rather than actions.
Communicate often: You should text or call your partner during the day more often to make him/her feel the closeness.
Keep it simple: Doesn’t have to be hard, just simple words would suffice.
QUALITY TIME
People who get quality time feel so much loved, cherished, and prioritised after spending meaningful time with their loved ones. Giving someone your undivided and undistracted attention works like magic. E.g., sitting on the couch with the television off and looking and talking to each other. However, things go wrong when you’re sitting on the couch watching television and making no contact.
Building strong and healthy relationships come from meaningful connections and to do that, one must be spending quality time with their partners. Most people see each other every time but still, feel alone inside. That proves being in the same place doesn’t constitute quality time. Often use digital communication like texting and social media engagement to give compliments but remember, such words always require thought time, and effort.
To show your quality time to your loving partner, make sure:
No bad discussions: Your partner likes doing activities with you but not useless discussions so save some time and make some good time out of it.
Listen to what they want to say: Eye contact says a lot and that spending quality time often means being a good listener.
3. Give undivided attention: Separate your work life from your home life especially when you’re with your significant other.
PHYSICAL TOUCH
Some people feel loved when they receive a touch of affection, which includes kissing, cuddling, holding hands, and of course, sex but not just because of lust. Physical intimacy and touch can be incredibly amazing and serve as powerful emotional connectors for people.
Ways to show your love by physical touch:
Give lots of hugs: People are often reassured and comforted by touch which means along with listening to your partner, adding some physical affection brings more glory.
Focus on non-sexual touches: Physical touch in your relationship doesn’t always have to be about sex. Sometimes people crave affection, cuddling, lots and lots of hugs, kissing but no fu**ing.
GIFTS
We all love a little treat every once in a while, and you may already know that giving and receiving gifts is another way we give love and feel loved. You feel loved when people give you gifts in the name of love in the form of something that you can touch or something you can feel. It doesn’t have to be about money but the symbolic thought and should be incredibly meaningful behind that idea or the gift.
This love language is not about the items that you give but showing them the effort and proving that you are thinking of them and that you listen and care for them described as selfless acts. We, humans, like to feel warm, fuzzy feelings. Experts too found out that positive feelings created by compassionate actions reinforce selfless behaviours.
Here’s how to show love to a partner who responds best to gifts:
Small things matter: Some people believe in small joys or gifts more often rather than a rare large gift.
Be thoughtful: People who value gifts also like the thoughtfulness behind a gift – give your partner an item that shows you understand them.
Make it pretty: Presentation means a lot so if it is about giving gifts then it is also about how you give it and when you present it, try to make it flawless.
