How To Cope With A Partner Who Likes Vanilla Sex
Not many people out there want to engage in BDSM as it isn’t something that everyone likes due to culture, fear, or a sexual behaviour which make it difficult to get our partners to try it out.
Tips to introduce BDSM to the bedroom without terrifying your partner who likes just Vanilla sex
If you feel like your partner always plays safe and sticks to vanilla sex then it is not their fault as not everyone is up for it. BDSM and fetishes are not liked by everyone, but you can encourage your partner to be a bit ‘sexperimental’.
Here are some tips to make your partner realise that there’s more to your sex life than just vanilla.
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Respect
First, try and understand that it is your partner, and you cannot force her into anything. Though, many think that BDSM is an abuse sort of thing, but it is actually not. It is just another way to spice up your sex life. You just have to try and make your partner understand that BDSM is not bullying, and it is a lot of fun once you try it, in which no one is going to get hurt.
Be Clear
Always let your partner know what you want exactly from the act you are going to perform and how much pain he/she may have to endure. You have to be clear with your choices and there should be surprises if your partner is not ok with it because they trust you that you won’t hurt them. Once they are ready and excited, you can give them all the surprises you want, and they may actually like it when they will get used to it. You can also tell them the act will make you both closer as it is a fact that if nicely done, then BDSM does make a couple more comfortable with each other.
Education
Always research what exactly you want to try and if it is 100% safe as many sex accidents happen all the time. You need to educate yourself. Kinky sex or BDSM can hurt people if not done in the right way. In such scenarios, if the partner is too dominant, then it has been observed that they will just do things to the sub until they are satisfied, without caring about the sub’s feelings or who is getting hurt during the process. Don’t be too dominant to your partner because if you are and if they are scared of such acts then you will be risking your relationship and comfort zone with your partner.
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Take Baby Steps
Don’t do everything on the first day as it is important to do your BDSM encounter right and patiently. Kinky rough sex or BDSM isn’t ‘normal sex’ where you can just muddle through. If you rush into everything, the process and fun may go wrong and it won’t fulfill your desires, and besides, it will be unpleasant and possibly downright dangerous.
Start by talking and convincing your partner. You can also watch porn together so that your partner will get familiar with the concept you want to try. You can also try one thing at a time like tying up your partner’s hands during sex, like dirty talks to make them kinky during the process, or using a toy to add more fun.
Back Off If No Scope
Always remember never to take no for an answer if you really want this and if you really think your partner may be ok and will be happy. However, if your partner doesn’t feel good about this, then you have to back off, it is as simple as that. There are people who don’t like this kind of stuff and get scared easily. No matter how much you try to convince them, the kinky or BDSM world isn’t for everyone.
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