You probably have heard this phrase everywhere that “Love is Blind”, but what I think is love isn’t blind in fact it has a perfect vision when two people love each other truly.
There is a famous saying that has a deep meaning if you really think about it. “Guys regret the girls they didn’t sleep with and girls regret the guys they do sleep with”.
Before I say anything further, let me start by saying I’m not here to judge you and your decisions are your own to make. But we often end up falling for people who aren’t available easily and living a complicated life. Similarly, you experience a lot of conflicting emotions when you start dating a married man, and being in a relationship with one is something you can easily get pulled into given the undeniable charm, attraction, and maturity he possesses.
We face challenges in every relationship, and being the second woman in his life can bring a whole new set of complications. So, if you do find yourself in such a situation where you’re in love with a married man, it’s essential to know what you’re signing up for, and the truth about what lies ahead of you if this relationship continues.
Read more: Do’s and Don’ts for Dating a Younger Partner
Here’s everything you need to know about what your affair with a married man will look like:
Trust: Can you do that? Can you trust him with your life? If you don’t know, then let me help you. Did he lie to you at the beginning about his marriage because if he did then there is your answer and should you seriously consider trusting him? Why did he lie? What was the need to lie? Is he making excuses time and again? No matter how terrible his married life was, lying is not the way to get you to trust him. He was cheating on his wife when he started seeing you so what makes you think he won’t do it again?
Priority: It seems pretty clear that his first priority will always be his children and his wife so you know what you are getting yourself into. He may say that you are the only woman he loves and that he is only married because of the kids and you may believe him, but still, your affair with him will be a huge risk. He is obligated to his children, and if you come between him and the kids, chances are he may resent you in the long run and even if he ditches his wife for you, do you really think you two will live happily ever after?
Beliefs: There’s such thing as right and wrong and getting involved with a married man may seem right to you but it is not really. You may be attracted to him because he caring, attractive, financially stable but if your affair continues and you think it is impossible to stay away from him then you’re still somehow doing wrong to the woman (his wife) you never met who has never done anything wrong to you.
Commitment: The fact is no woman wants to be the second choice and you shouldn’t be one as well and if you know him really well then it won’t take long for you to figure it out what your future looks like with him. Try and discover what’s going on in real because men often try to get into your pants and when they get what they want, they just leave.
Purpose: Figure out what actually you want from a relationship with a married man. Is it the thrill of sex that is keeping you together? If yes, then why with a married one. It’s not uncommon for a people to be seduced by the thrill of having an affair. But, you will be like a mistress to him and won’t be able to take the place of his wife so why unwillingly ruin a family when the man is at fault because if you will do so, you will be a part of it.
Reality check: Give him the real scare and tell him that you’re pregnant or willing to have kids right away. Whatever he will say will determine where you stand in his life. You deserve to know what he really wants from this relationship as you are the one who will have to make the sacrifice because of a situation he put you in. Also, ever wondered why is he having marriage problems in the first place? Isn’t it possible that he is the reason for a lot of problems in the relationship with his wife? He could have issues that will hinder any relationship he is involved in as he is having an affair after all.
You don’t choose who you fall in love with, so take the risk only if you feel that he is worth the complications. Think about it carefully because if something didn’t work out, getting dumped by a married man could be a severe blow to your future and self-respect.
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