If you are a victim of Breadcrumbing in your relationships, then remedies need to be taken ASAP.
Highlights:
- What Is Breadcrumbing?
- Signs of Breadcrumbing
- Why do people do it?
- How to deal with it?
Love is blind – is what they say. However, it is better to watch out for red flags in the relationship to avoid hurting yourself in the long run. In relationships, there are many red flags like gaslighting, ghosting. However, there is one more you may or may not have heard known as Breadcrumbing.
What Is Breadcrumbing?
Breadcrumbing happens when someone gives you just enough energy, time, attention, affection, or words of affirmation to keep you interested. Still, they do not commit- instead, they manipulate you to be left wanting more.
Signs of Breadcrumbing
- They are less interested in you than you are in them.
- They respond days or weeks after your last contact.
- They make plans with you but cancel or do not show up. Sometimes the person rarely makes plans and when they do, they don’t follow-through.
- They are unpredictable in expressing their interest in you.
- Consistently makes excuses as to why they cannot see you.
- You never know where you stand with them.
- You are often confused about their behavior, Googling for answers or talking about it with your friends.
- Dry WYD (what are you doing), GM (good morning) texts that lead nowhere
- You find yourself romanticizing their reasons for not following through, creating more fantasies keeping you wedded to the fading connection.
- Confused about their actions because their actions do not line up with what they say.
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Why do people do it?
- They like you but do not want to commit
- They feel better about themselves
- They are lonely
- They need validation from other
- They see you as a backup plan
How to deal with it?
Six steps to avoid getting breadcrumbed. Ask and remember this.
1. Aware
Be aware if someone’s actions are not matching their words. You can be AWARE of the signs of this behavior. Moreover, red flags to more quickly remove yourself from these situations.
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2. Set clear boundaries and be direct
You can become aware of WHY you tolerate relationships where partners give you the bare minimum.
3. Set your focus
Notice if you are focusing more on the potential or hope instead of the reality of what this person is showing you in the present.
4. Decide if the relationship is worth continuing
Identify what needs you are seeking from a person that drives you to continue engaging despite feeling frustrated, confused, or upset by their behavior.
5. Know your worth
Identify the learned beliefs that you hold that influence how you relate to others (that is, if someone is not meeting my needs, I will just try harder or to get my needs met, I must prove myself worthy”)
6. Take charge
Know that if your needs (that is, feel enough, be accepted, feel seen and heard) went unmet in your parent-child relationships, your inner child still longs for these needs to be met. If you never learned how to take control in getting your needs met, your inner child will seek others to meet these needs and lead you to accept the bare minimum, even breadcrumbs.
Learn to meet your own needs, either independently or through available partners. Disengage from people who continually show that they cannot meet your needs and instead look for partners who can!
Were you aware of Breadcrumbing? Have you faced it? Share with us!
