Be Bright. Be Brief. Be Gone

Retd.Lt. Rita Gangwani shares Small Talk Etiquette this week

Do you dread making a ‘polite conversation’?
It’s nothing but just a ‘small talk.’

The mingling, the chatting and the small talk are all unavoidable but there are many who are afraid to do so. It’s truly an art to discuss matters of little consequences with strangers, which in fact helps in building a rapport and leaving a lasting first impression.

The definition of a small talk includes both, a light conversation as well as a chit-chat. Small talk is what people indulge in social outings where it works as an ice-breaker.It is not an in-depth conversation, rather an exchange of social niceties. While some are born with the gift of smooth talking; for others building a conversation with strangers can be awkward, stilted and even painful at times. Knowing the art of small talk is an essential part of interpersonal communications.

People who realize the importance of small talk and master the art, take it as an opportunity to enhance relationships and build a rapport.

Small talk though unimportant, is an important conversation which is used as a pre-meeting activity at cocktail parties, get-togethers and various other networking events.It can be used in any situation where you are trying to begin or improve personal relationships. Remember, the purpose of a small talk is to build relationships and not to argue or debate on a point.

There is liberty to add humor to it, provided it is subtle and not targeting any particular individual.Here are a few suggestive topics to initiate a conversation. It is advised to stay away from any controversial points attached to the following topics.

Topics to stay way from include:

While it may seem that conducting a small talk requires little skill, good conversationalists know that it is a combination of planning and plenty of practice!Avoid getting too personal or touching subjects that are painful to others. Observing reactions gives you the clues to whether continue the conversation, change the subject or simply end the conversation. Being aware of your tone and being sensitive to other people’s feelings helps to make it much easier without crossing lines inappropriately.

It is very important to learn how and when to exit a conversation. You should talk to someone just long enough to be polite and not let a three-minute conversation last for thirty minutes. When you need to exit, try “Please excuse me” or “It was nice talking to you,” which allows an appropriate exit. No other explanation is required. A successful brief encounter requires a few well-chosen words, good eye contact and a few minutes of your time. Your objective in all encounters should be to make a good impression and leave people wanting more. To do that – Be Bright. Be Brief. Be Gone.

Although the nature of these initial conversations appears unimportant on the surface, it does reveal a great deal about the speaker, especially his/her personality. Feeling confident and at ease around strangers makes it far easier not only to make friends but to begin establishing meaningful relationships.

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