India witnessed a sharp increase in Divorce Queries & we wonder Yeh Kahan aa gye hum

Coronavirus lockdown has increased divorce queries rise: Time is teaching a lot of lessons to us!

Coronavirus lockdown hasn’t just affected the economy of people and country, but it has also taken a toll on relationships. Since March, couples are locked together. It has resulted in more fights and disagreements. According to a report, divorce queries has seen a sharp increase in India. And this just makes us wonder Yeh Kahan aa gye hum? There was a time when we wanted to spend time with our loved ones, and now, all we want is – space to breathe.

LegalKart, a startup that is based on legal services, received 9,700 queries related to divorce, child custody and domestic abuse in the month of April and May compared to 3,800 such queries between January and March. This is more than 2.5 times jump in the queries related to the divorce. The number of these queries surged to 5,770 in June alone.

Where is the problem?

Various researches on marriages in India have discussed how the sentiment of endurance or nibhana, resulting in compromises and adjustments is often seen as the key to a happy marriage. However, the contemporary middle-class Indians, while accepting this principle of marriage have another novel way to carry out a successful marriage. They tend to avoid spending too much time with their husband or wife which is easily achieved when both partners are employed.

In fact, few men believe it is not just about money, it also about space. When both the partners work, they try to spend quality time with each other.  A man working in MNC said, “If my wife is working, she would be occupied and she won’t be involved in kitty parties and won’t have plenty of time to pick fights.”

This sentiment is mutual with women. Women think that employment keeps them busy and enables them “me space” away from household duties and their spouse. So, employment is not just a marker of money and status, but it is also crucial to their mental health.

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Lockdown has taken away the personal space 

With the lockdown, the “me space” has vanished. As most of the couples are working from home to avoid Coronavirus spread and spending all day together, they have started to feel the weight of their relationships. The greater opportunity for potential conflicts and already pent-up resentments towards their spouse has somehow upset household dynamics. In some cases, it has led couples to reconsider their compatibility.

The lockdown has enabled most urban professionals to work from home, perhaps with a reduced work expectation. But women’s labour has increased as working women are doing work from home as well as catering to the family members. Housewives have to cater to all family members at all times. For housewives, they had ‘me-time’ when their husbands were away for work but now-husband is always at home which has taken away their personal space. This has made women of the house feel more burnt out during this lockdown period. They are not only managing the emotions and needs of all family members but also doing household chores like cooking and cleaning.

The lockdown has made many couples realized that personal space is very important. Dr Nisha Khanna, an independent psychologist & marriage and family counsellor based in Delhi talked to us about the importance of personal space. She said, “As people are in limited space, they are under pressure. People are facing abrupt change in their daily schedule. Earlier there was an organized schedule but working from home has changed it. Also, due to cost-cutting and a decline in business revenues, there is economic pressure. Compatibility issues, fear of job loss, pressure from the boss, fear of COVID-19 infection, they all are increasing the stress and anxiety. This might make them lose their temper, so the couple needs to give space to each other so that they can calm their emotions and accept the abrupt change in their lives.”

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