THE DAY I BECAME A COCKROACH!
As I lay in bed trying to steal a few more minutes of warmth and comfort before getting out into the humdrum of daily life, I noticed something peculiar. The more I tried to turn myself over so as to avoid the direct sunlight on my face, the more it became difficult. There was stiffness in my body that held me in my place. I gave up the struggle and attempted to get out of bed. This became another struggle since as much as I thrashed about I couldn’t get a grip on anything. My hands felt non-existent. I just had arms which could only flap about. I tried craning my neck upwards and what I saw took my breath away. It wasn’t me I was looking at. It wasn’t my body. I had turned into something else. It looked like an insect, a cockroach actually, only it wasn’t as small. I was big, life-sized, occupying a large space, yet a cockroach.
I began laughing at the audacity of my imaginations and was genuinely amused the tricks one’s mind is capable of playing on oneself. I laughed for a very long time, all the while hoping the sheer comicality of the situation is what will push me out of my reverie. But nothing changed. I lay there a long time, hoping furiously to try finding refuge in the obstructing nature of humor, but the magnanimity of my altered existence refused to get overshadowed. Gathering my thoughts together I began thinking what happened overnight that my whole existence became a different one.
I am not just another person, I am another specie altogether! Try as I might nothing made sense, so I realized I might as well get out of bed and see what happened to the world around me while I was sleeping, perhaps that changed too. Mobility is a skill that perhaps every creature is intuitively aware of and I relying on my (altered) instincts to guide me, tried lifting myself up. It wasn’t easy but eventually I was able to drag myself out of bed all the while wondering how will I survive? As I inched forwards I began imagining what dangers await me in this new existence that I have acquired.
I began musing about what will I eat? Will I feel thirsty? As I was thinking about all this it suddenly hit me that I have a family in the same house who are all there just outside my room and rather than thinking how will I justify my altered existence to them, all I can worry about is food, water and survival! Perhaps my mental capacities too have shrunk. It makes sense what else would the inner world of a cockroach be preoccupied with but notions of survival!
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I thought maybe I could slip past my family and no one would notice, when I realized that though an insect I still occupy space that affects the placement of others around me. And I began to realize the futility of my existence, which occupies space but holds no importance. Lamenting the puzzling plight I was in, I began my journey into the world outside with not the slightest clue what awaited me and where I would be heading. Amidst shrieks and gasps of my family members, I marched ahead refusing to look in their direction. Crawling out of my house I tried taking in the view of the outside world but my vision was narrowed. I couldn’t see the far reaching corners of the city.
I couldn’t see the faces of people rushing past me. I could see their footsteps hurling in front of me. Strangely I began noticing small details I had never registered ever in my human form. I could see the stones embedded in the road I walked upon each day, cribbing about the potholes I had to be careful about, but now it seemed the whole road was an endless series of holes and I had to pave my way with the utmost concentration.
It seemed like a never ending journey perhaps because I had no way of knowing where I am headed. I had no idea how much time had elapsed since I woke up, and I began realizing that in this new existence even the notions of time were different. Perhaps the concept did not exist at all. Perhaps the notions of time exist in a world where people are so preoccupied about time running out. Here in this insect world everything seemed to be moving at a pace defined by itself.
As I trudged along, with a narrow yet detail-oriented vision I began exploring afresh the world of mosquitoes rather than the world of stinky water puddles. I began exploring the cracks in people’s feet visible through their shoes rather than their crumpled clothes. I heard the vibrations people’s feet made on the earth. It was deafening. I kept crawling endlessly, listlessly, thinking only about dodging the stomping feet of people. It became too overwhelming, I felt lost. Nearby an abandoned well with no water called out to me, I went towards it with all my might.
It seemed promising in its wake. It felt calm, peaceful, and serene. It seemed dark, full of wasted, rotten food, engulfing. I tried to quicken my pace. At long last I reached the well, now all I had to do was climb into it. It seemed humongous, but I had all the time in the world to climb and reach inside.
Author Bio
Asmita Sharma is a practicing psychologist and counselor. She is fond of reading and writes occasionally in blogs and online journals. She is a vibrant, chirpy girl with a knack to get some interesting insights on life. Have any queries or suggestions for Asmita? Contact her by emailing at asmitasharma0689@yahoo.com.
